Monday, July 11, 2011

In Honor of National Sports Cliché Week

Here are my particular favorites...

Baseball is won between the lines. – Yeah, on the field as opposed to in the parking lot.
He's pitching lights out. – I wasn’t aware that some pitchers pitched with their lights on.
You can't steal first base. – Any other rules you want to read to us?
Three up, three down. – You mean like the inning is now over?
That ball should be playable. – I thought that they were all supposed to be.
The tying run is 90 feet away. – Do you mean like “there is a runner on third base”?
He has to wait for his pitch. – Don’t batters always have to wait?
He's seeing the ball well. – I would hope that most batters do.
He hit that ball squarely. – Ok, so just how squarely can you hit a round ball with a round bat?
He hit that one right on the screws. – I’m confused.  Are the screws in the ball or the bat?
He hit a towering line drive. – If a line drive flies parallel to the ground, how can it be towering?
In any other ballpark, that's a homerun. – That may be true, but sort of irrelevant, don’t you think?
He tatooed that one. – That is just plain dumb!
They're making a lot of un-forced errors. – As opposed to the errors they might be forced to make.
They have a tough road to hoe. -- Correctly stated, the original cliche is “They have a tough row to hoe”...a farming reference.  OK, Mr. Color Commentator, just how does one “hoe a road” anyway?
They have to circle the wagons. – I thought they were playing baseball.
They don't have their heads in the game. – Probably not their hands, arms, backs and legs either.
It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings. – Just who is this fat lady they keep talking about?  I have yet to hear her sing.  And believe me, I have been waiting and waiting and waiting!
He's going to have to get on his horse to catch that one. – I’ll be the grounds keeper would have something to say about that!
He uncorked a wild pitch. – As opposed to uncorking a bottle of Jack Daniels.
They're not playing to win, they're playing not to lose. – Is there really a difference?
They have to manufacture some runs. – Again, isn’t that the point?

I guess right after “the last nail was placed in the coffin”, “the roof just caved in”, causing them to “run into a buzz saw” so that “their wheels just fell off” so “a lot of the faithful are heading for the exits” where “They got an old-fashioned woodshed whooppin' ”.  So “This could get ugly” say nothing of stupid!

'Til next time...keep makin' Chips!

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