Hey, Look! It works!

And here is the proof!  Prost!

This may be a New “Un-Tapped” Market for me!

Yep!

Finished Beer Tap Handle

That is a carved wooden handle for a Beer Tap!

When I first received the commission to carve my first Beer Tap Handle ever, I did a little “research” into Beer Tap handles on the Internet.  To my surprise, I discovered that there are many people -- “home-brewers” for the most part, I’m guessing -- who are making, or having made for them, beer tap handles that are as distinctively personal as the fermented results of their hard work and patience.  I’ve found a little bit of everything from fancy turned spindles to replicas of handles you’d expect to see in a 200 year old Irish pub to dragon’s heads to images of drunks and monks!

This commission came about as sort of a “chance encounter”…with the emphasis on the “sort of"  part.  At the dinner following my Son and brand-new Daughter-in-law’s wedding a few weeks ago I ended up sitting next to…now, give me a minute to get this right…my wife’s...cousin’s... daughter’s...husband. You know, one of those really “straight-line” family connections.  

“A” (his name, for our purposes here) and I had met a number of times before.  Since he knew I was into carving our conversation started out with a question from him regarding (kitchen) knife-sharpening techniques.  One thing led to another and within a few minutes he had his Smart Phone out and was looking at pictures of carvings on my blog.

A couple of days later he e-mailed me to ask if I would be interested in a commission to carve a Beer Tap Handle for him.  As I intimated above, prior to this time, I didn’t know that people even did that sort of thing.  But we e-mailed back and forth and he soon came up with a pretty respectable picture of what he was looking for that he had cleverly cobbled up with bits and pieces from a number of Google Image pictures.  Ain’t Photoshop great!

It took a couple of days for the ideas to gel in my head but eventually I plunged in.  (I think/hope) I was able to capture his concept of an “open design” with Barley “Sprigs”/”Stems”/”Stocks” (?) and Hops “Blossums”/”Buds” (?). 

Roughout with Drilled Holes to begin Carving

I thought that a nice full head of foam sliding down over the edge of the glass was a really cool idea.  He wanted a design that was as “open” as possible, i.e., with a lot of “negative space”, so the latent Engineer within me was very happy about the additional source of rear support it provided for the Barley.  After all, there may be times when the handle will be pulled “very enthusiastically” and we wouldn’t want it to snap. :-)

The handle threads onto the end of the tap onto a standard 3/8-16 threaded stud.  At his suggestion, I found a suitable “T” nut at Home Depot and installed it into the base of the cutout.  The handle has to be as light as possible – you don’t want it to accidentally flop forward and spill any “goodies” on the floor -- and can really only be about ¾” thick in order to clear the front of the refrigerator door and still have room behind it for your fingers.  However, the flange of a 3/8-16 thread “T” nut was slightly over 1” in diameter, so I ground it down until it was sort of oval in shape.  I countersunk it a bit and to use some “five-minute” epoxy to make sure it stayed put!

"T" Nut in the Bottom End

The carving went pretty well.  I found, via Google Images, some very good photos of both plants.  The kernels and petals on “real” hops and barley plants are very irregular and random.  To my surprise, making them irregular was much more difficult than would have been to keep them in a nice, regular pattern, particularly, on the nearly round hops.  While I think they came out OK, I wasn’t as pleased as I might have been with the petals where they start to wrap around to the sides.  In addition, right in the middle of the piece…precisely where the barley and hops come together… there was either a “bad spot” in the wood or I was asking the Basswood to do something that it just wasn't willing to do.  As a result, the hops are slightly smaller than they started out to be (the result of “uncarving” and then  “recarving” them) and are now present only on the front side, because I just could not get them to “lay” down correctly all the way around to the back.  The outline of the glass got in the way, as well…so I’ll blame it on that.:-).

Beyond that there is not too much else to tell you.  I like the piece and look forward to doing some other handles to keep the suds flowing.

One for the Bench

The voices in my head may not be real, but they sometimes have some really good ideas!

‘Til Next time…Keep Makin’ Chips!

I'm Sorry! I can't help Myself!

I got these from someone who "claims" to be my friend.  I'll let you be the judge of that!

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

 Haunted French pancakes give me the creapes.

"Velcro", what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Should this be a National Holiday?

Happy National Toasted Marshmallow Day!  Yummmmm!

I seems somehow that it should qualify as a true National Holiday.  
 I have a feeling that most Brownies and Cub Scout would sign the petition!

Hello, England and Beer Tap Handles!

Someone from Stoke-on-Trent (they have such cool names for cities in England) spent 73 minutes on the blog yesterday.  That's not the record but it is crowding it pretty well!

Thanks for all of the attention.  It is gratifying to know that people actually do read what you write.

In other "news", I am currently working on a commissioned piece -- a handle for a beer tap!  That is a first for me, I have to say.  I'm about 1/2 done and will have some pictures to show very soon, so stay tuned!

'Til Next time...Keep Makin' Chips!

I guess I'm just getting Old and Cranky.

There have recently been a couple more examples of people on TV not saying what they think they are saying.   

I know that I shouldn’t let things like this bother me, but any time that I misspeak, fail to update a document correctly or make an error, people are very quick to tell me about it.  So, I guess that means it is OK for me to comment on their blunders here.  

The other day there was traffic accident involving an 18-wheeler as it exited the Pennsylvania turnpike east of Pittsburgh.  It ran off the road injuring the driver but fortunately it came to a stop before plowing into a crowded fast food restaurant located near the bottom of the ramp.  In his/her exuberance, the on-the-scene field reporter remarked that, "The truck nearly missed the restaurant." 

Now I will admit that this is a situation that, had I been asked, I would probably have called this a “near miss”.  But I think that if you nearly miss something you actually hit that something, don't you?   

So, in this case, I'm guessing that the truck didn't "nearly miss" the restaurant but rather it "missed " or "nearly hit" the restaurant?   

I think I can say, without worry of correction, that the reporter "nearly missed" getting this one right:-)

And, since I am blathering on about such things, I keep seeing the contact lens ad that contains one really annoying comment and they don't have the excuse that they were hurrying to get it on the air.  

In the ad I am referring to,  the announcer repeatedly assures the listeners that it is OK to  "Sleep in your contacts".  Even the on-screen "Doctor" uses the expression.

But is that even possible?  Can you actually "sleep in your contacts?"  I think that you would either have to be pretty small in stature or have some pretty big contact lenses to pull off that stunt.

Don't they really mean that it is OK if you "sleep with your contacts in" or “forget to take your contacts out before going to sleep”?  

Come on, Guys!  You're being paid to get this right!

People using my Patterns

In checking my blog counter info I see that a lot of folks are printing out pictures and patterns of my love spoons.  Please, do!  That is why I posted them.  To see such interest is very gratifying. 

But I do have one request.  If you do a carving based on one of my designs or postings, please send me a picture, I'd love to see your work.  And, if you want, I'll post it for others to see, with or without your name, as you see fit.

'Til next time...Keep makin' chips!

Are We Losing an Important Technology?

One thing that I was particularly aware of growing up in the 60s was Bumper Stickers.  They were ubiquitous but I do have to admit that they were rather unsightly and all too many were of questionable social propriety. 

I really don’t miss their slipping off into obscurity.  You still see some Bumper Stickers, but in these days of expensive, albeit invisible, rear bumpers, most Bumper Stickers have migrated upward where they now decorate the incredibly large rear windows on today’s SUVs. Nevertheless, I still find them interesting from a historical and perhaps mildly “perverted” perspective and I still read all that I encounter.

I guess, in respect for the potential safety issues associated with their new position on the vehicle, they have become smaller.  Their smaller size means that fonts must also be smaller. Curiously, I have found that some of the fonts are often very odd.  These factors, combined with poor contrast between letters and background, often makes stickers virtually impossible to read.  I my opinion, this pretty much defeats their purpose.   

So, of late I have been pondering – while carving, naturally, because that is when I do my best pondering -- the notion: “Despite our embracing an ever accelerating rate of growth in technology, have we allowed our vital “Bumper Sticker technology” to go fallow?” 

A case in point:

I was on my to work the other day when an SUV merged in front of me.  The car had a sticker  on its rear window!  As we drove on the sticker’s “siren song” kept calling out: “Read Me!  Read Me!”  Alas, the font was too small and the contrast too poor for me to read it.  But, regardless, it kept calling to me.

Since I go nearly apoplectic when someone tailgates me, I always try to maintain a good separation between vehicles.  And, normally, I would have been upset by anything that would impede my progress but that day I was delighted to encounter a traffic slowdown. Now, finally,  I could get close enough to read it!

When things finally came to a halt, I slowly moved up...like a tiger closing in on its elusive prey...I crept closer and closer until finally my bumper was nearly touching his…I stopped…I leaned forward in my seat…I squinted, ready to absorb the full impact of the vital information that the sticker wanted to share with me so desperately…It said, and I quote, “BACK OFF!”

...Hmmmmmmmm…

Now, don’t you think that if the owner of that car was really interesting in ensuring that no one encroached too closely to his vehicle he/she would have chosen a sticker big enough to read while you were actually at the desired distance from the rear of his vehicle?

One for the Bench

Or maybe...just maybe...has this once vibrant form of communications technology just been lost to the ages? :-)

6000 Hits and a Castle to Boot!

Well, we've passed the 6000 mark!  That many hits and counting...well...Hopefully:-) 

I've mentioned now a number of times that my son was getting married.  Well, the weddings have come and gone and G and C are now married and in their new home here in Pittsburgh.

My wife, a few other family members and I went to the wedding in Germany and got a 10 day tour of southern Germany with our own private, native-speaking tour guide!  As time permits, I'll pull out a couple of interesting shots -- out of the 800 (!) or so we took -- and post them. 

That's G and C under the blue umbrella.

We toured a number of castles while we were there.  This is a picture of first one, "Burg Eltz".  That means: "Eltz Castle" but "Eltz Fortress" is actually a better translation.   It goes back about 1000 years and basically stayed in the Eltz family the whole time.

To me, this place will always be the one that reminded me most of  something our of the movie "The Lord of the Rings".  It is perched -- and I do mean "perched" -- on the tippy-top of a little rocky mound at the bottom of a deep valley  The Valley is so deep, and the road down to the castle is so slippery in the rain, that one of our party -- and I shan't say who -- took a spill even before we got to the castle.

This was probably a very good defensive spot when your enemy used spears and arrows, but since the days of guns and cannons...well...uh...probably not so much.  When that day finally came, however, the ever-resourceful Eltz family just switched to "Schmoozing" whoever was in power to hang on to what they had.  Apparently, that works pretty well, too!

Germany is a great vacation destination!   Admittedly, it is a looooong plane ride, but it is worth the trip.  Trust me!

Yet Another Lettered Lovespoon

M and J Spoon

As you have probably already guessed, this Lovespoon was carved for a couple with the initials “M” and “J”.  Loyal readers already know that my lettering methodology dictates that the lady’s initial (in this case an “M”) goes on top while the gentleman’s initial (another Mr. “J”, I’ve had a bunch of them) goes on the bottom and that the two letters are somehow “linked together”. 

This is, however, the first time that I have had a “wide” initial composed of primarily vertical lines, in this case an “M”, located in the upper half of the spoon.   This caused me a bit of consternation on the design.  The spoon’s handle runs vertically so I needed to come up some sort of form of horizontal support for the M’s widely spread ”wings”.  That always seems easier to do near the bowl.

I have always liked incorporating organic, vine-like forms into spoon handles, so I decided to make a little crisscross at the bottom, run up and out to the two sides to get the width that I needed and twist them together to form a loop for hanging.

This was another of the church mission trip auction items and I wanted to add a bit of a religious symbolism.  I had just done a raised cross on my last spoon so this time I cut the cross into the bowl.  To make sure that I wouldn’t “punch through”,  I left the bowl  just a tad thicker than usual.  It was good that I thought ahead on that because the top and the bottom of the cross needed to go pretty deep into the curved surface of the bowl to ensure that the upright part of the cross was straight.  If I had gone potato chip thin like some folks like to, I would have been in trouble.

One curious thing about this particular spoon is that it is being given to “M” and “J” by her Daughter “J” and her husband “M”.  I had to make sure I kept track of that:--).

One for the Bench

          Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 "Til next time...Keep makin' chips!