I guess I'm just getting Old and Cranky.

There have recently been a couple more examples of people on TV not saying what they think they are saying.   

I know that I shouldn’t let things like this bother me, but any time that I misspeak, fail to update a document correctly or make an error, people are very quick to tell me about it.  So, I guess that means it is OK for me to comment on their blunders here.  

The other day there was traffic accident involving an 18-wheeler as it exited the Pennsylvania turnpike east of Pittsburgh.  It ran off the road injuring the driver but fortunately it came to a stop before plowing into a crowded fast food restaurant located near the bottom of the ramp.  In his/her exuberance, the on-the-scene field reporter remarked that, "The truck nearly missed the restaurant." 

Now I will admit that this is a situation that, had I been asked, I would probably have called this a “near miss”.  But I think that if you nearly miss something you actually hit that something, don't you?   

So, in this case, I'm guessing that the truck didn't "nearly miss" the restaurant but rather it "missed " or "nearly hit" the restaurant?   

I think I can say, without worry of correction, that the reporter "nearly missed" getting this one right:-)

And, since I am blathering on about such things, I keep seeing the contact lens ad that contains one really annoying comment and they don't have the excuse that they were hurrying to get it on the air.  

In the ad I am referring to,  the announcer repeatedly assures the listeners that it is OK to  "Sleep in your contacts".  Even the on-screen "Doctor" uses the expression.

But is that even possible?  Can you actually "sleep in your contacts?"  I think that you would either have to be pretty small in stature or have some pretty big contact lenses to pull off that stunt.

Don't they really mean that it is OK if you "sleep with your contacts in" or “forget to take your contacts out before going to sleep”?  

Come on, Guys!  You're being paid to get this right!

People using my Patterns

In checking my blog counter info I see that a lot of folks are printing out pictures and patterns of my love spoons.  Please, do!  That is why I posted them.  To see such interest is very gratifying. 

But I do have one request.  If you do a carving based on one of my designs or postings, please send me a picture, I'd love to see your work.  And, if you want, I'll post it for others to see, with or without your name, as you see fit.

'Til next time...Keep makin' chips!

Are We Losing an Important Technology?

One thing that I was particularly aware of growing up in the 60s was Bumper Stickers.  They were ubiquitous but I do have to admit that they were rather unsightly and all too many were of questionable social propriety. 

I really don’t miss their slipping off into obscurity.  You still see some Bumper Stickers, but in these days of expensive, albeit invisible, rear bumpers, most Bumper Stickers have migrated upward where they now decorate the incredibly large rear windows on today’s SUVs. Nevertheless, I still find them interesting from a historical and perhaps mildly “perverted” perspective and I still read all that I encounter.

I guess, in respect for the potential safety issues associated with their new position on the vehicle, they have become smaller.  Their smaller size means that fonts must also be smaller. Curiously, I have found that some of the fonts are often very odd.  These factors, combined with poor contrast between letters and background, often makes stickers virtually impossible to read.  I my opinion, this pretty much defeats their purpose.   

So, of late I have been pondering – while carving, naturally, because that is when I do my best pondering -- the notion: “Despite our embracing an ever accelerating rate of growth in technology, have we allowed our vital “Bumper Sticker technology” to go fallow?” 

A case in point:

I was on my to work the other day when an SUV merged in front of me.  The car had a sticker  on its rear window!  As we drove on the sticker’s “siren song” kept calling out: “Read Me!  Read Me!”  Alas, the font was too small and the contrast too poor for me to read it.  But, regardless, it kept calling to me.

Since I go nearly apoplectic when someone tailgates me, I always try to maintain a good separation between vehicles.  And, normally, I would have been upset by anything that would impede my progress but that day I was delighted to encounter a traffic slowdown. Now, finally,  I could get close enough to read it!

When things finally came to a halt, I slowly moved up...like a tiger closing in on its elusive prey...I crept closer and closer until finally my bumper was nearly touching his…I stopped…I leaned forward in my seat…I squinted, ready to absorb the full impact of the vital information that the sticker wanted to share with me so desperately…It said, and I quote, “BACK OFF!”

...Hmmmmmmmm…

Now, don’t you think that if the owner of that car was really interesting in ensuring that no one encroached too closely to his vehicle he/she would have chosen a sticker big enough to read while you were actually at the desired distance from the rear of his vehicle?

One for the Bench

Or maybe...just maybe...has this once vibrant form of communications technology just been lost to the ages? :-)

6000 Hits and a Castle to Boot!

Well, we've passed the 6000 mark!  That many hits and counting...well...Hopefully:-) 

I've mentioned now a number of times that my son was getting married.  Well, the weddings have come and gone and G and C are now married and in their new home here in Pittsburgh.

My wife, a few other family members and I went to the wedding in Germany and got a 10 day tour of southern Germany with our own private, native-speaking tour guide!  As time permits, I'll pull out a couple of interesting shots -- out of the 800 (!) or so we took -- and post them. 

That's G and C under the blue umbrella.

We toured a number of castles while we were there.  This is a picture of first one, "Burg Eltz".  That means: "Eltz Castle" but "Eltz Fortress" is actually a better translation.   It goes back about 1000 years and basically stayed in the Eltz family the whole time.

To me, this place will always be the one that reminded me most of  something our of the movie "The Lord of the Rings".  It is perched -- and I do mean "perched" -- on the tippy-top of a little rocky mound at the bottom of a deep valley  The Valley is so deep, and the road down to the castle is so slippery in the rain, that one of our party -- and I shan't say who -- took a spill even before we got to the castle.

This was probably a very good defensive spot when your enemy used spears and arrows, but since the days of guns and cannons...well...uh...probably not so much.  When that day finally came, however, the ever-resourceful Eltz family just switched to "Schmoozing" whoever was in power to hang on to what they had.  Apparently, that works pretty well, too!

Germany is a great vacation destination!   Admittedly, it is a looooong plane ride, but it is worth the trip.  Trust me!

Yet Another Lettered Lovespoon

M and J Spoon

As you have probably already guessed, this Lovespoon was carved for a couple with the initials “M” and “J”.  Loyal readers already know that my lettering methodology dictates that the lady’s initial (in this case an “M”) goes on top while the gentleman’s initial (another Mr. “J”, I’ve had a bunch of them) goes on the bottom and that the two letters are somehow “linked together”. 

This is, however, the first time that I have had a “wide” initial composed of primarily vertical lines, in this case an “M”, located in the upper half of the spoon.   This caused me a bit of consternation on the design.  The spoon’s handle runs vertically so I needed to come up some sort of form of horizontal support for the M’s widely spread ”wings”.  That always seems easier to do near the bowl.

I have always liked incorporating organic, vine-like forms into spoon handles, so I decided to make a little crisscross at the bottom, run up and out to the two sides to get the width that I needed and twist them together to form a loop for hanging.

This was another of the church mission trip auction items and I wanted to add a bit of a religious symbolism.  I had just done a raised cross on my last spoon so this time I cut the cross into the bowl.  To make sure that I wouldn’t “punch through”,  I left the bowl  just a tad thicker than usual.  It was good that I thought ahead on that because the top and the bottom of the cross needed to go pretty deep into the curved surface of the bowl to ensure that the upright part of the cross was straight.  If I had gone potato chip thin like some folks like to, I would have been in trouble.

One curious thing about this particular spoon is that it is being given to “M” and “J” by her Daughter “J” and her husband “M”.  I had to make sure I kept track of that:--).

One for the Bench

          Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 "Til next time...Keep makin' chips!

Not original, but a good story anyway

Once upon a time…

Outside a small Macedonian village, close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of a site of significant historic developments. The convent once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun. In more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied the hilltop site.

The Huns are believed to have first collected and then destroyed a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site. It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system and had the writs and other documents brought to the temple.

When the Greek church took over the site in the 15th Century and the convent was built, church leaders ordered the pagan statue of Eros destroyed, so another ancient Greek treasure was lost. Today, there is only the lone sister, watching over the old Hun base.
 
Hence:  "No Huns, no writs, no Eros, and nun left on base. "

I have no shame:-)

Happy 60th Anniversary, “D” and ”L”!!!

D and L's Lovespoon

“L”, the recipient of this spoon, is the female half of a wonderful couple we know who are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary on June 6th.  I completed the spoon last night -- not any too soon -- so that I can present it when I see them on Sunday.

“D” approached me a couple of weeks ago to ask that I do a spoon for him to give to “L” for their upcoming anniversary. 

“What do you want the spoon to look like?”  I asked.
“Whatever you think would look good,” “D” replied. 

“OK, when do you need it?”  I asked.
“Our anniversary is on June 6th, but whenever you can get it done will be OK.”

...Things that make you say, "Hmmmmm."  Typically, the customer has some preconceived notion as to what they want in the way of a lovespoon and when they want it -- Not this time. 

I got home and really had to scratch my head to come up with a good design idea.  I stared at the blank sheet of paper for quite some time and finally decided to start with the letters hoping that they would tell me what they wanted done with them.  As is usually the case, they were really quite specific.  They said that the spoon handle needed to sweep down from the upper left towards the lower right.  That made it possible to nicely support the top end of the “L”.  Then, in order to keep things balanced, the bowl had to swing back to the left.  I have used the Acanthus leaves many times.  They always seem to work well in a spoon.

Three evenings of carving and sanding, three coats of sanding sealer and a heavy coat of Carnauba wax and Voila!…another finished spoon.

So, Happy Anniversary “L” and “D”! 

If you want another spoon for your 65th, 70th or 75th just let me know, I’ll be glad to do it for you.  But start thinking about some design ideas now.  That will make my job a lot easier:-).

One From the Bench

“God gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.” - George R. Kirkpatrick

‘Til next time…Keep makin’ Chips!

Patterns, Patterns, Patterns!

The impending nuptials of my son and his lady and my German lessons are dramatically impacting the “blade time” here at Carvin’ Tom’s.  I’m still doing some carving and I will soon have two more spoons to post but for now, assume that this post is kind of a filler.

Recently, I was sifting through my spoon drawings and thought, " You know,  I really should post these patterns so that anyone who is so inclined can use the patterns or some of my “design elements” -- wow! does that sound impressive :-) -- to carve spoons of their own."

So, I first scanned my drawings – I think that there are 31 of them -- into *.PDFs.  I figured that would be the best format for everybody.  Then when I tried to post them I discovered that “Der Blogmeister” doesn’t permit *.PDFs in his Picasa Gallery, only images.  So I reconverted all of the *.PDFs into *.JPGs that I can put into the Gallery with the blessing of the powers that be. 

The originals were all actual size because they were used to trace the pattern directly onto the wood.  Unfortunately, because the originals were on paper of several different sizes, at some point in this process, the actual size of the spoons got lost.  Not to worry!  That is precisely what copiers are very good at doing! 

Just print out the one(s) you like and scale them to the size you would like and reprint them.  Personally, I try to keep all of the non-lettered spoons to about 10” long but the lettered spoons often end up being a little longer just to keep everything in proportion.  I think it would be cool to see one of these spoons that was, say 7 feet (!) long.  So, if the spirit moves you, go right ahead…but send me a picture with something in it to gauge the size!

You will see that some of the non-lettered spoons are what I would refer to as a “standard” design.  Everybody carves them.  I make NO claims on originality on any of these spoons and take NO responsibility for whose they “might have been” or where they “might have come from”.  This is mostly because I couldn’t tell you when or where or how I found them if I had to.  They are all there, free for anyone to use without any compensation.  Well, that’s not completely true.  I would love it if you would send me a photo of your efforts if you decide to use one of the patterns.  I’ll even post it for you, if you would like.

One for the Bench:

Sometimes the only way you can take a really good look at yourself is through somebody else's eyes. - Author Unknown

"Til next time...keep makin' Chips!

What did you like?

WOW!

Somebody from Indiana spent a big chunk of this afternoon -- well, 1 hour, 35 minutes and 21 seconds of it -- reading my blog.  I'm impressed...and pleased...and I guess kinda "proud"!

Thanks!

Was there anything in particular that you liked?  or didn't like?  Since you probably bested my longest read so far by about twice, I'd really like to know what held your interest for so long.

Carvin' Tom

Recently Defined Additional Corollaries to Murphy’s Law

I have always been a believer in the astute findings of Mr. Murphy.  Over the years his research has uncovered and defined many corollaries to his original Law pertaining to the behavior of inanimate objects, i.e.:  "If something can go wrong, it will".  This is one of his latest corollaries: 

The Multiple Laws Of Access Panel Operations

1.       Upon ascertaining that the solution to a system problem is located behind an access panel, it will be determined that the access panel is located in the most inaccessible location of the system.

2.       Upon obtaining the correct conventional hex socket for removal of the access panel and squeezing into the area where the access panel is located, it will be determined that the 18 hex-head mounting bolts specified on the drawing, have been replaced with hex cap bolts requiring an Allen head socket.

3.       Upon squeezing back out of the hole, locating the correct Allen head socket and squeezing back into the hole, it will be determined that if you are right-handed that the panel will favor removal by a left-handed person.  If you are left-handed, the opposite will be found to be true.

4.       Upon extracting yourself and squeezing back into the hole from the opposite side and removing the 18 mounting bolts securing the panel, it will be determined that the wrong access panel has been removed.

5.       Upon replacing the incorrectly removed access panel and re-torquing its 18 mounting bolts, it will be determined that the gasket has been omitted.

6.       Upon re-removal of the incorrectly removed access panel, replacing the previously omitted gasket complete with a fresh new coat of Permatex, replacing the incorrectly removed access panel and replacing 17 of its 18 mounting bolts it will be determined that no other mounting bolts can be found.

Note: there may still be additional laws pertaining to Access Panel operations, but to date no other researchers have been willing to delve any further into this matter.