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One from the Bench:

Mike Finnegan was a strapping lad from the town of Oysterhaven, County Cork, Ireland.  He was tall and dark and fancied himself as quite the ladies man. 

He would spend hours every evening down at the “Ox and Hound” throwing darts and drinking pints set down for him by the lovely, redheaded, Edith.  He lavished her with so much attention that she just knew that any day he would ask for her hand in marriage.

But, unbeknownst to Edith, Mike would also spend time everyday hanging out at the dairy, where he toyed with the affections of Kate, the pretty, dark-haired dairymaid.  She, too, expected that Mike would soon “pop the question”.

While Mike managed to keep each girl mesmerized and unaware of his playful activities with the other, it soon came to the attention of the Parish Priest, Father O’Brien who felt that such behavior should not continue forever.

After a couple of months of watching Mike's antics from the sidelines, the priest finally felt it was time to intervene.  When he encountered Mike on the street he came to utter the famous words that you still often hear today: 

          “Mike, my son, you can’t have your Kate and your Edith, too!”